Twelve leaves from a budding love-tree – First letter


Sybil/Tom Secret Valentine Exchange : my present to obessivewritingdisorder after her prompt: “a series of love letters between Tom and Sybil” (during the time they kept their courting/relationship secret).As the title suggests, it will be a 12-part fic (one for each letter/note), and I will post them one by one (one or maybe two each day), starting on February 14th. So it wil be some sort of “continuing Valentine gift” until February 20th or 26th, like an Advent calendar, except it’s a “post-Valentine calendar”…Enjoy!Twelve leaves from a budding love-treePart 1: First letterHunched over a very small wooden table squeezed between her left neighbour’s bed and her own, with two crumpled sheets of paper lying at her feet, Lady Sybil Crawley – or rather Nurse Crawley, now – was rereading for the umpteenth time the draft she had finally managed to come up with, before copying it out on a new blank leaf of high quality stationery. The scribbled sheet read:York, 18th December 1916Dea Branson,I must admit I’ve been struggling for a good half an hour now to know how to begin this letter to you, and as you can see, I failed miserably.I’ve been trying to find the way to tell you I wish things to be alright between us you and me, to let you know that the last thing I want is things turning awkward once I’m back home.Well, not exactly. To tell you the truth, the last thing I want once I’m back home is finding out that you’re gone. As I told you when we parted a few days ago, I don’t want you to loose your job because of me leave. Please don’t go. Or at least, please don’t leave because of me.Anything that’s been said and heard between us doesn’t have to be brought to anyone else’s attention than ours yours and mine.I’ve also been thinking these last few days about how to apologize to you for what I told you back then. I’m fairly painfully woefully aware that my reaction to you to your propos has been neither the best nor the kindest one. First I hurt you with my words a word, then I tried to make a bit of humour when you weren’t ready at all for it, and it hurt you even more. I am truly deeply sorry I did it.Please believe that I did not intend to make light of your feelings emotions how you feel, I even admire you for being brave enough able to voice it. I know I would be totally unable to do so. I’ve not been taught how to. Or even, maybe I’ve been taught not to. I couldn’t tell you if it’s inherent in being “posh”, to quote your own words, or in being English. But I’m quite sure being both doesn’t help reacting very well as far as voicing of personal emotions is concerned.Again, I’m sorry about how I reacted. I guess I just didn’t know at all how to react. I must tell you I’m not Lady Mary, I’m not used to men people expressing anything like that any sort of appreciation for me, to me.And here I am again, trying to make a joke because I feel awk am at a loss for words. You see? I’m afraid I’m a lost cause, just a hopeless posh English girl…Anyway, I assure you I sincerely admire the bravery it required for you to open up to me about your feelings; I would even say that I envy your courage and your strength. I know I’m not that brave. And more than anything, I regret having hurt your feelings you. I swear it was the last thing I wanted, and thinking of the hurt I unintentionally caused you hurts me too back in turn. Please I beg you I hope you will find in your heart you to forgive me.I’ve just reread what I have written above, and I feel ashamed because it turned out all about me, about how I was hurting and what you had to could do to make me feel better, while the reason I decided to write this letter was to tell you I wish you feel better, and try to make sure you do…Probably you’re waiting for me to give you an answer to your question. I can’tPlease don’t act on any drastic decision you would make before you’ve first come to tell me about it, I know you don’t owe me anything of course, so I will just hope you value our mutual friendsh understanding enough to do so. I really do hope you will be there to pick me up in two month and drive me home. I’m looking forward to it.Kind Best regards,Lady Sybil CrawleyFandom: Downton Abbey
Genre : Romance, Humour, Fluff, Angst
Characters: Sybil Crawley, Tom Branson
Synopsis: Sybil/Tom Secret Valentine Exchange : my present to obessivewritingdisorder after her prompt: “a series of love letters between Tom and Sybil” (during the time they kept their courting / relationship secret). As the title suggests, it will be a 12-part fic (one for each letter/note)

Hunched over a very small wooden table squeezed between her left neighbour’s bed and her own, with two crumpled sheets of paper lying at her feet, Lady Sybil Crawley – or rather Nurse Crawley, now – was rereading for the umpteenth time the draft she had finally managed to come up with, before copying it out on a new blank leaf of high quality stationery. The scribbled sheet read:

York, 18th December 1916

Dea Branson,

I must admit I’ve been struggling for a good half an hour now to know how to begin this letter to you, and as you can see, I failed miserably.

I’ve been trying to find the way to tell you I wish things to be alright between us you and me, to let you know that the last thing I want is things turning awkward once I’m back home.

Well, not exactly. To tell you the truth, the last thing I want once I’m back home is finding out that you’re gone. As I told you when we parted a few days ago, I don’t want you to loose your job because of me leave. Please don’t go. Or at least, please don’t leave because of me.

Anything that’s been said and heard between us doesn’t have to be brought to anyone else’s attention than ours yours and mine.

I’ve also been thinking these last few days about how to apologize to you for what I told you back then. I’m fairly painfully woefully aware that my reaction to you to your propos has been neither the best nor the kindest one. First I hurt you with my words a word, then I tried to make a bit of humour when you weren’t ready at all for it, and it hurt you even more. I am truly deeply sorry I did it.

Please believe that I did not intend to make light of your feelings emotions how you feel, I even admire you for being brave enough able to voice it. I know I would be totally unable to do so. I’ve not been taught how to. Or even, maybe I’ve been taught not to. I couldn’t tell you if it’s inherent in being “posh”, to quote your own words, or in being English. But I’m quite sure being both doesn’t help reacting very well as far as voicing of personal emotions is concerned.

Again, I’m sorry about how I reacted. I guess I just didn’t know at all how to react. I must tell you I’m not Lady Mary, I’m not used to men people expressing anything like that any sort of appreciation for me, to me.

And here I am again, trying to make a joke because I feel awk am at a loss for words. You see? I’m afraid I’m a lost cause, just a hopeless posh English girl…

Anyway, I assure you I sincerely admire the bravery it required for you to open up to me about your feelings; I would even say that I envy your courage and your strength. I know I’m not that brave.

And more than anything, I regret having hurt your feelings you. I swear it was the last thing I wanted, and thinking of the hurt I unintentionally caused you hurts me too back in turn. Please I beg you I hope you will find in your heart you to forgive me.

I’ve just reread what I have written above, and I feel ashamed because it turned out all about me, about how I was hurting and what you had to could do to make me feel better, while the reason I decided to write this letter was to tell you I wish you feel better, and try to make sure you do…

Probably you’re waiting for me to give you an answer to your question. I can’t

Please don’t act on any drastic decision you would make before you’ve first come to tell me about it, I know you don’t owe me anything of course, so I will just hope you value our mutual friendsh understanding enough to do so. I really do hope you will be there to pick me up in two month and drive me home. I’m looking forward to it.

Kind Best regards,

Lady Sybil Crawley

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